Theory of a(n Almost) Dead Man

Exams are here; well almost
Like always, I'm nowhere
They are round the corner
Blink! And they'll be on me
The alarm bells are ringing,
Time is flying like 'tis got the skitters
But this time, the omens are stark
portending doom! doom! doom!
The dark signs are here for me to see
Cable TV is out! Sheesh!
The phone's dead! Jeez!
Where's an escape hatch when I need one?
Ah well! There's always that little friend
That little friend who I got in college
My only respite in those long lectures
The soulmate who just wouldn't leave me
My escape hatch beckons me...
My soft, cozy bed, here I come!

Note: 1. If the character portrayed above bears similarities to anyone living or dead, it's completely intentional. And I believe that the most number of such specimens can be found in CET.
2. 'Theory of a Dead Man' is a music band. Sorry, couldn't resist the lure of the pun :D
They can be found here